It's Dark Out!

So, I recognize that I do a lot of posts about driving. I love driving. I find it calming and it gives me a place to think and organize my thoughts while not being totally bored and disengaged from the world.

When other drivers ruin it for me, it makes me mad.

Not road rage-y mad. Just mad. Mad enough to blarg about it. The idea for this post came from a good friend of mine, and I have to admit that I've been putting it off. I don't know why I've been putting it off. I just have. For that, I owe my friend an apology. 

Anyway, back to drivers. Have you ever been cruising down a dark street, and just see a couple of yellow lights approaching you at high speed? Chances are, they are not the glowing eyes of the boogeyman coming to gobble you up, but rather the running lights of some idiot who has neglected to turn on their headlights.

It is my opinion that either they are intentionally trying to kill someone, possibly themselves included, or they are so impossibly unaware of their surroundings, they have not realized it is dark and difficult to see. Either way, they should not be driving.

If they have been intently negligent in turning them on, I would say they have earned the right to a license revocation, and at least two nights in a special cell at the police station which I will dub the "stupidity cell." This will be similar to the stocks of olden times, where the culprit has his hands and head stuck in holes, and is left standing there, butt stuck out, half bent over. It looks rather uncomfortable. Now, in the olden stocks, the village people (the locals, not the music group... well, maybe them too?) would come by and have the ability to slap or hurl old produce at the offender. I think that these stupidity cells should come equipped with foam ball launchers that anyone in the public would be allowed to use. This could be turned into a potential way to increase funding to our civil servants, should tickets be sold (at a fairly low cost per ticket, of course). I'm thinking even school field trips could get involved with the fun! Each ball would have the words "TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS" printed on them, so the offender would see the message every time a ball was launghed at them.

If the person is oblivious to their surroundings, they at least need to get their eyes checked. Some states do a "demerit" or "point" system, where certain offenses grant certain negative points against a driver's licence. Driving in the dark with no headlights certainly deserves this. I'm going to save my ideas on this particular subject, however, because I'm fairly certain there is alread a policy in place on this, and is enforced with the perpetrator is caught.

But a ball launcher for intentional idiots...

Genius

Get me a rock

Vague communication is the downfall of any relationship. When you are giving instructions, please please please be clear. When you are describing something, please be clear. Now, I'm not saying you need to be poetic about it, but you at least need to get the person from point A to point B without missing steps in between.

I love it when a supervisor or teacher gives an assignment and doesn't tell you the steps to complete it. I don't need to know every little detail, but when you expect me to complete an assignment, but don't give me the information I need to do so, you are not a kind person.

A few weeks ago, one of my professors needed us to get together with classmates via an online group video chat system. We were told to use the links provided in order to use this software. We were not told who our group members were, nor where the "provided links" were actually provided. Turns out, that information was buried deep inside another set of folders. It would have taken my professor ten seconds to type out where that information could be found, but instead I took an hour and a half to dig for it. This is bad communication, and I suffered for it.

Another form of vague communication is what my mother deems "Get-Me-a-Rock Syndrome." To explain this, I'll put it in context. You work in a rock quarry. Your boss tells you to go out and get him a rock. So, you go out, pick up the first rock you see, and bring it to him. He then informs you the rock he needs has to be bigger. You go out again and retrieve a larger rock. He tells you this one is too big. After several more times, you finally obtain the correct size rock, only to be informed that the desired rock must be red. After finding a rock with that description, he once again defines the parameters to include blue speckles and a white band.

See what I'm getting at here? 30 rocks later, he still doesn't have what he wants and it is somehow your fault for not bringing the correct rock. You both are pissed, he's about to fire you, and you are about to bash his face in for wasting your time.

People need to just open their mouths and actually give clear directions that can be understood. Those listening also need to have the balls to ask a question if they don't understand any part of the instructions. This will keep so much hassle from happening, and in the end, everyone will be happier!

Accounting

I hate accounting.

I hate it with a passion that burn brighter than the fiery pits of Hell combined with the righteous indignant fury of the Hosts of Heaven.

I've taken the same stupid accounting class for my university classes hmmm... lets see... oh just THREE TIMES! I hate this class with every fiber of my being. I can't stand not being able to get the concepts, and there is nobody in the world who is able to explain it to me in a way I understand (with the exception of one, who is a Godsend, and may actually be able to pull my butt through this class). Before I found this guy, though, I'd been through everything I could think of to get my brain to wrap itself around the concepts put forth by my professors.

There is an accounting lab on campus, which is supposed to specialize in tutoring morons like me in a way that is understandable. I think "Great! That will allow me to get some help and get the accounting juices flowing!" Not wanting to look like a total doofus, I make sure that I have read the book, looked over the homework, and come with a list of specific questions to ask the tutors there, so I can walk out of there feeling confident that I can last one more day in this nightmare of a class. I finally get the attention of one of the tutors, and he comes over, sits down next to me, and says (Verbatim) "Well, everything is in the book. Why don't you read the book and see if that helps."

Like I haven't already thought of that.

You idiot! I came to you because I've exhausted all the other options I can think of. Don't tell me to just read the book and all will magically become clear! I've done that. Now answer the questions that I've brought to you AFTER having read the book.

By the time I come out of my shock of him having said this, however, he has already stood up and moved on to help another struggling student. I never got help from there. I'd like to say this was a one time occurance, too. Unfortunately, this proved to be the rule, rather than the exception, when it came to the amount of help I recieved from that disgrace of a tutoring center.

I hate accounting.

My cupholder

I love my car. Love it! I love everything about it. It's very versatile (go hatchbacks!) and it gets great gas mileage. lots of little accessories in it that make driving it a pleasure.

Between the two front seats are two cup holders. One sits in front of the other, and the one in the back sits just a little bit higher than the other. The one in back is perfect for pretty much everything. Soda cans, water bottles, fast food cups, again, everything can fit in this cup holder.

The partner cup holder does not perform the same job with the same vigor and excellence, however, and it is very upsetting. For whatever reason, it is just a little bit smaller than the other one. It won't hold a soda can, and it's too close to the rear cup holder to allow anything with a lid to sit in it without the lid popping off. About the only thing that will actually fit in this cup holder is a standard 16.9 oz water bottle.

I'd like to know why on earth the designers of this otherwise wonderful car would put in cup holders of differing sizes? It seems like a completely idiotic thing to think of, let alone actually put into practice. I mean, who on earth designs something with two separate size cup holders? I get the idea that some beverage containers are different sizes, but there are many ways to make a larger cup holder work with smaller objects, but there are no ways to make a smaller cup holder fit larger cups.

Really, Kid?

Here is a current event for you!

My son, who is two, is extremely smart. He grasps concepts quickly, he is helpful, cheerful, and overall a great little kid. I could compare him to your kids, but I'm pretty sure it would end up in an argument, and eventually, you would see reason and begrudgingly accept that my son is pretty much the greatest kid around.

Today, however...

In the basement, I have a little mini office set up. It allows me a space to work on my homework (and my blarg) in relative peace and quiet. So today, as I'm studying, I hear this drip drip dripping noise. I go to investigate. No signs of dripping. The faucets are all off, the toilet isn't leaking, etc. so I go back to my homework.

The dripping continues

and continues

and, well you get the picture. So I go to investigate again. I look around a little further, and in the storage area, I notice a puddle on the ground. Upon further inspection, I realize there is water dripping down the walls! Holy Smoke! So, I get on a chair, look around, but can't find the source of the dripping. So I go upstairs. The bathroom right above me is totally dry. No dripping, no water running, nothing. But in the closet right next to that bathroom, I can hear dripping. So I think "What on earth upstairs can be... OH NO!!!"

I sprint up the stairs and slam open my sons room. He has the sink on. Normally, not a bad thing in and of itself. The problem is, he has deposited some toilet paper in the sink, which clogged it. The TP then clogged the emergency drain in the front of the sink. The sink then overflowed. The bathroom rugs got to sop up a lot of the water, but they were not enough to handle it. So, where can the water go?

Down the AC vent!

Apparently, the water drained down the vent, and when it got the bottom of the vent, leaked into the ceiling of the basement, and onto the floor. The carpet in several places is soaked, and the restoration guys say that there is water in the ceiling and some of the walls. Great. That's a boatload of money I wasn't planning on spending. Sigh.

Two-year-olds... It's a good thing he's cute.

Counting Dimes

So, I have big hands.

You know what that means!

Yes, it means I have trouble dealing with really small objects.

Like dimes.


I hate counting dimes. Specifically dimes. I don't hate counting all coins, it really is just dimes. Part of my job is to count the money in the registers, make sure there is a certain amount of money in them at the start and the end of the day. Paper money is a cinch, quarters and nickles, no problem. Pennies... ok, so pennies are a little tough, but dimes are so small I have trouble counting them one by one back into the drawer. Inevitably, I drop one or two extra into the slot, and I have to start counting dimes all over again. It's really annoying!

Also, I lose track counting dimes easily. I never lose track with any of the other change, just dimes. I start to count by cents (10,20,30,40...90,1 dollar) but then I lose track of how many dollars I have counted out (crap, have I already counted 2 dollars? or was it 3? dang...) When you have 20 different registers to count, it gets really aggravating to have to start over on almost every one.

It's so bad, when I see only 2 or 3 dimes in a register, I rejoice! I am so happy that I can just eye it, and I don't have to worry about starting over 38 dimes in.

Do other people have this animosity towards dimes? Probably not... my guess is that nickles or pennies are probably the victims of most change hate crimes

Cake

Ok, so I grew up with my mom's cake. It is amazing cake. My personal favorite is a devils food cake that is quite heavy, but so moist and rich that it makes me drool just thinking about it. Now, on this cake, there was frosting. My mom had this really nice cream cheese frosting that she would put on the cake, and it was very sweet and rich, and also a little weighty itself. It had substance. Then, the frosting would mingle with the air, and just the outermost layer of the frosting, just half a millimeter's worth, would get just a little hard and crusty, and...mmmmmmmmm. It's a party in my mouth and more cake is invited! Oh, and milk...

Then...

There are store cakes. I will grant that not every cake is this way, but for the most part, when you buy a cake at the store, it's very light and airy. I know a lot of people like this kind of cake, but I feel like I'm not getting anything except a mouth full of vanilla air. It's gross. It cuts too easily, it's dry, and and I feel like I need a slice five times as large as usual to satisfy my craving.

And the frosting is awful.

It's like semi-liquid cotton candy. It's way too light, there's too much air, and I feel like a single tablespoon could put me in a diabetic coma. If I get one of those stupid frosting roses on my piece, I scrape it off. Too much air, too much food coloring, not enough frosting! I ordered cake, not air! If you can blow the icing off the top of your slice of cake (which I have done), then it's too light. I want substance!

Also, if you can TASTE the food coloring in your icing, you've used too much color. Blech!

Cake should not be trifled with. Unless, of course, you are cubing it and putting it in a trifle... hmmmmm

Nothing

So, here's something ironic. I'm blarging about not having anything to blarg about!

It's actually quite frustrating. Here I am, living my life, which is pretty dang good. But I write a blog of complaints. My life is so good, I have nothing to complain about. Even the little stuff hasn't bothered me enough to consider actually writing something about it. How great is that? Great for life, not so good for my readers (you know who you are!)

I was actually thinking about it this morning while at work. I was intentionally trying to come up with things to blarg about, and I was having a tough time. The best I could think of was counting dimes. (more to come, I guess).

What am I supposed to tell my fans? The thronging masses need my literary work, and I'm depriving them of it because I'm too happy! Man, I'm a jerk

Ooh! I just thought of something! I'll put it up as soon as I finish it!

In the meantime, please, if you have any ideas on topics, or a mildly depressing story you want to share, please email me at thisismyblarg@gmail.com. I would love to look over your material and add it to my menagerie of mayhem!

Sniff Sniff

Have you ever tried those strips that go across the bridge of your nose and are supposed to open up your sinuses?

They
        Work
                 GREAT!

But they sure do look dorky. I rolled over one night and I had one on. My wife woke me up she was laughing so hard.

But that's not my complaint

They work well because they stick to your nose, and they don't let go.

Ever.

Have you ever had those pore cleansing strips that go across your nose and clean EVERYTHING out? Yeah, know how well those stick? These nasal strips stick more than those. When you DO finally get them off, they rip your entire face off with them. They don't even clean out your pores! You'd think that they would at least get something out, but no. A little disappointing.




An Edit as of 5 days after original post written... It has come to my attention that some people now think I wear these every night. I don't. I will admit to the occasional snoring, but these don't really help me with that. I really only use these when I have a cold. They help me breathe at night. That's really it. Don't go thinking that I have to look extra dorky every night. There are plenty of nights that allow me to look naturally dorky without the aid of a nasal strip...

Im closed!

So, I've recently moved to another position at my workplace. This particular move was a promotion, meaning more money. Excellent. It also means a LOT more work. Not a big deal. I knew that.
What I didn't expect, was the incredible amount of stupid people I now have to deal with. More on this in future posts.
A particular kind of stupid will be focused on today.
I now run the front end of my store, which means I have a number of cashiers under me, and their job is to ring people up. Easy, right? For the most part this is correct. I am also in charge of their on-the-clock schedules, i.e. sending them to breaks and lunches, among other things. So, when its time for them to break away from a register, change their sign from open to closed, and tell them to finish with the people currently in their line and go to break.
Apparently people don't read signs. Customers will continue to get into lines that say they are closed. Now, sometimes, the cashier will be nice and say, "Sure, I can take one more." But one turns into five turns into ten. Eventually, the cashier has to turn someone away. Generally, this is done nicely, with an apology. The customer then snatches this opportunity to get angry and throw a tantrum. Why on earth do people think that they have the right to get upset? The sign says closed. They have been told, by superiors, to close their sign and get off the register for a time. If you walked up to a store, and the sign says closed, would you still try to walk in? No.... So why would you think that the word "closed" means something different when it applies to a cash register?
Now, if there aren't enough people RUNNING registers, that's an entirely different reason to complain. But if you complain simply because you have to wait behind ONE person in order to get your stuff... sorry, but in my book, that's not a legitimate complaint.

READ THE SIGN!

Please follow all posted signage...

Length

I don't like when my jeans are too long. They drag on the ground. It bugs me.

That's all.

Shaving

Like most men, I have facial hair. I have nothing against facial hair. I think that a lot of people can really pull off a good goatee. I have a real respect for the old men who come in with an 18 inch scraggle beard. I think they are awesome

Personally, though, I don't look good with a beard. I've tried! Actually, I've never fully seen me in a beard. What tends to happen with my face is a great three-day growth. Then it stops. I attempted to grow my beard out for a full 14 days. Once it hit three days, it never got any fuller.

This leaves me with a problem.

I cant grow hair, and the three-day thing doesn't look good, which means I'm now stuck shaving every day. Also, I've found that I can't use an electric razor. My stubble is too dark and thick, and when I use an electric razor, it looks like I haven't shaved at all. This leaves a manual razor as my only option. I use a high end manual razor (sorry, no brand promoting today), and it works really well on my face. I really don't have issues with the razor itself, except for the fact that I have to replace blades every so often. I don't cut my face very often, so I dont have any real complaints about that either. I shave in the shower, so it saves me a little bit of time, which means no complaints there.

But I have to do it every day.

Every. Day.

Sigh.

I would love to find something that would allow me to skip shaving every day. I've thought about waxing my face. Seriously, I have. But I need more than a three-day growth in order for waxing to be effective. I've thought about using a hair removal cream. Actually, I did try a hair removal cream. It didn't do anything. I'm assuming that, again, I need some actual hair to be there, but I could be wrong. You have to be careful with cream though, as there are some creams designed for facial hair... and some that aren't. I had a friend who used regular Nair on his face (completely ignoring the warning saying not for use on face. It was printed on the bottle. Twice.) with disastrous results. About 5 minutes into the process, he started complaining about the burning sensation he felt. twenty minutes in, he was crying. After the cream was removed, his face was, indeed, hair free. He also had a lobster red clown smile going from each sideburn down to his Adam's apple and to under his nose. This "smile" stayed with him for over 2 weeks. Not good.

I've thought about using the "no-no" hair removal product, but I'm skeptical. Anyone out there know anything about it?

I'm exceptionally jealous of the men who don't grow facial hair. I sure wish I had that gene. Maybe I'm just doomed to shave. Every day.

Too Big

This post brought to you by General Mills' Peanut Butter Toast Crunch. No, seriously! My computer is RIGHT NEXT to a box of it! It's not a half bad cereal, actually. I would probably buy it again


Oh, right... blarg... uh... oh! Here's something!

Pet peeve of mine: over sized packaging. Especially in board games. I love board games. I practically collect them. If I play a board game and I love it, I will probably buy it (or ask for it for a birthday/Christmas/anniversary/Saturday). This ads up to a lot of games though

A LOT of games.

I need somewhere to put these games, and it would be much easier if the boxes weren't so stinking big! Now, this doesn't apply to all game packing. A lot of games are right on the money with their packaging (Card games are awesomely sized), but there are some that are fairly boneheaded.

I'm referring to games where all it is is a pictionary sized box of cards and a small or nonexistent board. I open this huge box to find most of it is empty air and cardboard to keep the smaller box inside from moving. Why on Earth would you make a box so big? I don't want to open a set of Russian dolls just so I can get to my stack of cards. Just give me the stack of cards with a box that fits it perfectly.

In more recent years, a lot of the classic games such as monopoly and sorry are making their game boards foldable into quarters. This is a wonderful development! It makes it so everything is more compact. The width of the box doesn't change, but the length can.

But it doesn't.

The length of the box remains unchanged, leaving room for the tray of pieces on the side. Here's a novel concept, guys. Do what every other game maker does and put the pieces in little bags that can be easily shoved underneath the little cardboard rule shelf you always make. That's where they all end up anyway! This makes for more organized boxes AND can reduce your box size by 20-25% Awesome! That means I have more room in my game closet for MORE GAMES! Woohoo!

Before anyone gets all snarky on me, remember that I am a business person. I am fully aware that a larger box means essentially more advertising space on the shelf when people are looking to buy me games for birthday/Christmas/anniversary/Saturday. I get that. I don't care. Make it smaller.





Perfect sized game boxes:
Phase 10
Settlers of Catan (actually, this one is a tad big until you start stuffing expansions into the same box)
Dominion
Skip Bo
Jenga
Bohnanza
Flux
Blokus


Games that should rethink their packaging
Sorry
Munchkin
Buzzword
Killer Bunnies
Monopoly
Yahtzee (this one is one of the worst)
Wackee Six (not bad, but still big for what it is; six decks of cards)


Again, I don't hate the game. I own every single one of the games mentioned above. They are all wonderful games. I just wish I could fit more of them into the limited space I have.

Speaking of games, if you haven't already, you just lost The Game.

Political Correctness.

This morning I read an article about Washington State that made me very sad. I grew up near Seattle, and I have very close ties to the state. I love it, I think it's wonderful, I would like to live there once I get myself situated and finished with school.

But Washington has done some pretty boneheaded things the past couple years that is making me wonder if the clouds are getting to some people.

I don't mean the gay rights or the legalizing of pot (only one of those, IMO, is a real political issue, by the way), but the idiots in Olympia have some serious 'splaining to do.

The article I read this morning was about how the words "Fisherman", "Freshman" and "Penmanship" were all banned from official documents, possibly even from everyday use. They will be changed to "fisher" "First-Year student" and "Writing", respectively. This is to eliminate the masculine prominence in these words, making them more gender neutral. Seriously? These are common phrases that everyone has used at some point or another. What makes them so bad NOW? I am completely baffled at the state of our world, a world which now is apparently so nit-picky that I have to change my normally educated vocabulary.

Does this mean I can't play "Freshman" as a scrabble word anymore? Because that was a high point value word, assuming I... well, never mind.

I really don't mind some political correctness. When it comes to races, I feel that there are some terms that are very derogatory, and I can agree with eliminating them. Personally, I don't mind being called a "cracka", but apparently I'm too open minded for some people. I would like to bring up a very good point from midget comedian Brad Williams (midget is his word, quit getting all fussy). Brad points out in one of his shows that he makes fun of everyone! He leaves nobody out. What does everyone do at his shows? They laugh! of course! He's funny! Why is it that he can make a joke about (insert ethnicity) people, but I can't? dont' give me the crap that he is a comedian and I"m not, because I don't buy that.

What it all comes down to is people need to not be so dang wrapped up with individual words. It's the thought that counts, and the way something is said, not necessarily the words that are used. The next time somebody corrects me about something I said that was "politically incorrect" I think I"m going to punch them, and ask which hurt worse, the term or the fist?


http://www.ijreview.com/2013/05/49446-new-washington-state-law-bans-words-penmanship-freshman-fisherman-as-sexist/

Book

Ok, so I started this thing off a little heavy with some serious complaints. Now I want to do something minor.
I get mildly frustrated with myself when I find myself reading a book that is... ok. Its really not a great read, but its JUST interesting enough to make me want to finish it. The book I'm reading right now, written by an excellent author whose other works I greatly enjoy, is exactly one of those. There's actually no serious plot line. No major overarching goal. Just a bunch of mottled together mini stories with a vague reference to a war about to happen that never actually happens. The characters are not really defined, and a lot of characters are kind of wasted. My friend Joseph, an aspiring writer would be appalled.
But...
It's come up with enough little bends and curves for me to wonder what is going to happen in the coming pages. And then, time and time again, I find myself unsatisfied or still wondering about the outcome. Why do I keep reading this??
Because apparently I'm just that bored... or again, it barely meets my minimum requirements for interest, thus keeping me turning pages.
I definitely need a really good book after this one though. Any suggestions?

Punctuality

As a business major, and as an arrogant person, I look at every business I walk into and see what I would do better if I ran the place. This could be anything from switching the location of a certain piece of equipment to completely firing the staff and starting fresh.

One of the biggest things that gets to me is late employees. At my workplace, this is probably my biggest pet peeve. Don't get me wrong; I understand that there are circumstances that keep you from coming in at shift start time on the nose. It happens to me all the time. Traffic is bad, your kid makes a mess you need to clean really quick, an appointment runs a little over. I get it.

But...

If you consistently show up 30 minutes late with no valid reason, or if you have a valid reason but don't forewarn those affected by your tardiness, this is a sign of irresponsibility, and a business has no place for this. I have a lot of shifts that end right when the next begins. Again, if you are five minutes late, that's not a big deal. I'm probably wrapping up something anyway. But if I leave, and you aren't there, guess who tends to get in trouble for leaving the area unattended? Not you, the latecomer, but me, the abandoner. If you can't make a certain time of day, change the hours you are available so you won't be scheduled at a time you aren't able to work.

Even worse is when your shift starts an hour before mine ends. Ten minutes till I have to leave, you're still not there? What is this? Bad practice. Management, fire this person. If nothing else, discipline them like policy says to. Please. Please? No? Fine. I guess I'll just blarg about it.

Sigh. I guess when I'm in charge, I will look back at this and see how wrong I was. Again. I understand life happens, I just wish I had a little warning life was going to happen every couple days.

Stupid Drivers pt 2

So, as I mentioned the other day, I hate stupid drivers.

Downtown DC has solidified this for me, once again

Today, my beautiful wife, Sadie, and I, decided to take our two kids downtown into downtown DC to see the cherry blossoms we had heard so much about (We missed them, btw. Sad panda) and walk around to see some of the sites. On the way into the City, there were some stressful points, but nothing really worse than you would find in bad traffic anywhere (Except this was light traffic).

We had a wonderful walk around the Tidal Basin, enjoying the time outside and the sunshine, stopping to take pictures whenever the mood struck. Great Day!

Until...

We went to leave to meet my uncle at his hotel and go to dinner, which was a welcome surprise. It was a grand total of 3 miles to get there. 3 miles. 3. Due to drivers deciding that lanes did not matter, traffic lights were mostly optional, and the plethora of one way streets and, my favorite, streets that you can only turn on during certain parts of the day (which did not apply at that time, of course), it took almost 45 frustrating minutes to go... you guessed it! 3 miles! Then, in what should have been a 7 minute jaunt to Georgetown to get dinner, we ran into more stupid people and even worse taxi drivers, extending the trip to another 40 minutes. Thank goodness my kids are cute and my uncle was pretty good at entertaining them, or else this whole ordeal would have been even more hellish (screaming kids don't make bad situations better).

Beyond just the bad drivers, I discovered that jaywalking and crossing streets is the sport of the city. You wouldn't believe how many people would just dart into the streets, causing far too many people to stop abruptly or swerve. My personal favorite was when I'm watching as a large group of pedestrians waits... waits... waits... (red walk light) then as I approach the intersection, they move, as a whole, into the intersection and attempt to cross the street (walk light still red). I couldn't believe it.

Sigh. I knew DC was full of morons, but this is something new. Common sense is becoming far less common. What a shame.

Stupid drivers

Stupid people bother me, but stupid drivers are the worst kind of stupid people. I don't mean fast drivers, or even aggressive drivers, which are their own breed of animal I won't touch on today ; I mean stupid drivers. To me, there are two types of stupid drivers that bug me the worst.

The first is a group of people I will refer to as "weavers". These are the people you see darting back and forth between lanes, generally going 15 MPH faster than everyone else. They do this to get to wherever they are going faster than the rest of us, apparently driven by some concept that the highway is nothing more than a Mario kart track. The worst, and probably most ironic type of weaver is the traffic jam Weaver. These poor saps believe that I by switching lanes back and forth in congested traffic, they will actually work their way to the front of the line. Just this morning I witnessed one of these morons maneuver through traffic, endlessly swapping lanes, only to be slowly, steadily gained on, and then passed, by myself. I took the opportunity to smile and nod to him as I crept by, hindered by the same traffic he was, but consistently moving forward. The ultimately ironic part? About a quarter mile after I passed him, traffic opened up considerably and I was able to accelerate to a reasonable speed. He was still stuck.

But weavers are not the worst. I can't stand when people don't use turn signals. I ask you a simple question. When you are driving, are all of your fingers unremovable from the steering wheel? Do you find yourself unable to drum a rhythm to whatever song your listening to because your fingers are completely attached to the steering wheel the entire time the car is in gear? If yes, I sincerely apologize for the misunderstanding. If not, please be courteous enough to lift ONE finger off the wheel to flick your indicator stick on. It doesn't have to be a big one... a pinky will do. But it takes so little effort and time to turn this indicator on, I don't know why anyone would neglect to do so. I understand, sometimes a light is out and the light literally does not work. But to not even attempt to turn it on shows one of three things, none of which are good. The first is a reckless disregard for safety (bad... duh). The second is sheer ignorance and/or stupidity, neither of which are acceptable on the road. The final reason is the epitome of laziness. Being so lazy as to not raise a finger to hit a blinker... that's a sad sign for the world.

Anyway, if you belong to any of the above categories, please seriously consider looking deeply into your life and questioning some of your life choices. I will admit that there are exceptions to each of the described things, but not nearly to the extent I see them.

Happy driving!

Explanation

Hello Everyone!

THIS... is my blarg. This is a site dedicated to all the silly little complaints one might have about life. Most often, these will be spawned from my life and the life of my family, but I will not be able to take full credit for everything that goes in here. There will be stories, gripes, anecdotes, complaints, episodes, tales, lamentations, squawks, sketches, stinks, whines, and yarns from the lives of those I interact with. Everyone has something to complain about!

My ultimate goal with this blarg is not to be a pessimist. PLEASE don't think that I am a negative person. What I really want is to take these complaints and look back at them and realize how small they are. There may even be some humor taken from these. Actually, that's what I really intend to do, now that I think about it. I want to take these complaints and turn them into something funny. I think that's what makes comedians so funny; the ability to take all these small gripes about life and turn them into something that we all can laugh at.

So please, enjoy this blarg. If you have anything you may want to share with me, please feel free to do so, but be ready to endure a little (or a lot) of ridicule should my mind take me there. By sending me your stories (and synonyms shown above), you agree to have them be shown, and made fun of, publicly.

Happy complaining everyone!