Jaywalking

Jaywalking is a perfectly legitimate way of crossing the street when there is no legal way of crossing that particular road. That being said, there are some rules.

First, don't be stupid.

Don't try to cross a busy 6 lane interstate during rush hour. If there is a car anywhere in sight, you should not be crossing the interstate. That's stupid and suicidal. It's common sense. Find another way around. If you are in a city, there are plenty of overpasses within just a couple miles of you. Believe me, your life is worth the hike.

Alright. Now that the morbid part of my speech is over, lets get down to the meat of the subject.

Rule 2: Proper use of crosswalks.

If you are in the city, chances are that there is a crosswalk at the street corner. Many times, those crosswalks are regulated by the use of the "Walk/Dont Walk" lit up signs. Now, in case you are confused, if the image is red, whether it be the words "DONT WALK" or just the big red open hand, it means you should not step into the street. When the sign turns white (or sometimes green), then you have permission to cross. At that point, please move at a reasonable pace across the street, assisting old ladies as you go. Hey, those Boy Scouts can't get them all!

Rule 3: More proper use of crosswalks

Don't jaywalk when a crosswalk is present. I can think of very few times when you need to get across the street so desperately that you can't wait 2 minutes for your turn at the crosswalk. The times when it would be allowable: Your wife is in labor and the hospital is across the street, a bomb is strapped to you and you are running away from highly populate areas, or an supervillain is attacking and you need to get to your costume ASAP. This last only applies if you ACTUALLY have superpowers. Being double jointed or having better than 20/20 vision is not a superpower.

Also, don't cross the street 20 feet up from a crosswalk. It's there for a reason. If you are so lazy that you can't walk 20 feet up the sidewalk to a proper crosswalk, then I guess you probably deserve to get hit by a car. Seriously. It's within view! Why are you so special that you get to ignore all the rules and expect that traffic will just stop for you? The other day, I actually watched a guy come out of his building, turn and move AWAY from the crosswalk, just so he could jaywalk across the street, through moving traffic, and into a coffee shop. Are you kidding me? it would have been easier, and probably taken about the same amount of time to move to the crosswalk, wait the ten seconds for it to change, cross the road safely and legally, and then walk the 30 feet back up the sidewalk on the other side to get your coffee, and you would have saved yourself from recieving the scumbag status. You sir, deserve to be slapped, have your face set on fire, and then have that fire put out with a pair of soccer cleats.

Seriously. If the crosswalk is available, and a supervillain isn't attacking, don't jaywalk.

If no crosswalk is available, please jaywalk intelligently. Or creatively. I would stop for someone is they moonwalked across the street. Or did it on their hands. I would stop for a handstanding jaywalker. Ooh! A hand-moon-jay-walker. That, I would like to see.