Cake

Ok, so I grew up with my mom's cake. It is amazing cake. My personal favorite is a devils food cake that is quite heavy, but so moist and rich that it makes me drool just thinking about it. Now, on this cake, there was frosting. My mom had this really nice cream cheese frosting that she would put on the cake, and it was very sweet and rich, and also a little weighty itself. It had substance. Then, the frosting would mingle with the air, and just the outermost layer of the frosting, just half a millimeter's worth, would get just a little hard and crusty, and...mmmmmmmmm. It's a party in my mouth and more cake is invited! Oh, and milk...

Then...

There are store cakes. I will grant that not every cake is this way, but for the most part, when you buy a cake at the store, it's very light and airy. I know a lot of people like this kind of cake, but I feel like I'm not getting anything except a mouth full of vanilla air. It's gross. It cuts too easily, it's dry, and and I feel like I need a slice five times as large as usual to satisfy my craving.

And the frosting is awful.

It's like semi-liquid cotton candy. It's way too light, there's too much air, and I feel like a single tablespoon could put me in a diabetic coma. If I get one of those stupid frosting roses on my piece, I scrape it off. Too much air, too much food coloring, not enough frosting! I ordered cake, not air! If you can blow the icing off the top of your slice of cake (which I have done), then it's too light. I want substance!

Also, if you can TASTE the food coloring in your icing, you've used too much color. Blech!

Cake should not be trifled with. Unless, of course, you are cubing it and putting it in a trifle... hmmmmm